An Advantage of Aging
We sang “Happy Birthday” to Lily Tomlin the other night. She just turned 70. That age used to sound really old to me. I’m sure that it still does to people in their teens and twenties. But when you’re 61, it sounds “youngish.” Now, age 90 sounds old to me, but it won’t, I suppose when I’m 80. Nevertheless, can you believe that Edith Ann is 70? And that’s the truth.
Despite what the culture may tell us, I’ve come to believe that aging has its advantages. If you’re lucky, you get to witness in your lifetime things that you never imagined might happen. For instance, Senator Ted Kennedy, or “Teddy” as we call him in our house, finally received the heartfelt global acclaim his life of great caring and service has long deserved. He had to die of brain cancer at age 77 to get it, but the “hero’s” farewell he received from the nation and the world made me feel vindicated and also proud of planet Earth.
And did you see that Lt. William Calley has finally apologized for his role in the disgraceful sexual abuse and mutilation of over 400 Vietnamese women and children in My Lai. He did it in whispers to a Kiwanis Club in Columbus, GA, over forty years after his sentence was commuted by Richard Nixon, but his recognition of evil-doing in the name of the United States helped heal the wounds that I and many others carried from our days of opposition to the war in that country.
The Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) finally looks as if it might pass Congress and be signed by the President. As one who was fired 35 years ago for being gay (and still wouldn’t be covered by the legislation because it exempts religious institutions), it is heartening to know that “the love that dare not speak its name” will no longer be legitimate grounds from workplace harassment or discrimination. We’ve worked long and hard for this. It’s a blessing to have lived long enough to see it happen.
And the United States finally has a black Commander-in-Chief. Many white men and women my age in the United States risked death, jail, beatings, and social alienation just to ensure that black people would be allowed to eat at the same restaurant and to enter common restrooms. Barack Obama represents to us a victory that can never be taken away. We feel rewarded.
I have lived long enough to see the marriage rights of gay people embraced by the majority of people in the United States, to have openly gay people host the Emmy’s and the Oscars, and to witness major Protestant denominations approve of the ordination of non-celibate gay and lesbian clergy.
To witness and fully appreciate history being made, you have to have lived long enough to understand the significance of the event. To a black baby living in the Upper East Side of New York, the election of President Obama had no more historic relevance than President Harry Truman’s executive order desegregating the Armed Forces did to me in 1948. Age allows us to understand and savor the meaning of events within the context of our own lives.
In response to my suggestion that he watch Through My Eyes, a film on being young, gay, and Christian (www.gaychristian.net), a Salvation Army officer friend of mine wrote back that “I wish I could have seen something like this DVD 35 years ago. What a difference it would have made in my life.” In reaction to a fundraising mailing I sent out to friends on a new on-line gay high school (www.glbtqonlinehighschool.com), another friend wrote back to say it brought back memories of the horrors he faced as a gay high school student many years ago. One gift of age is experience and the unique perspective it provides. And that’s the truth.
