Happy Days Are Almost Here Again
Dear Friends,
I threw my aging body into the ocean this morning for a much-needed baptism of the spirit. I asked the divinity of nature to purge me of the dark sludge that competes with the bright light that wants to fill me from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. It helped.
As an American, I’m so very, very happy for, and proud of, the nation. A country whose early economy was based almost solely on white people owning black men, women, and children from Africa for slave labor, and which until 1967 allowed states to forbid black people from marrying white people, has elected as President of the United States the mixed-race son of an African man and a white American woman, sending a clear message internationally that we Americans not only have a dream, but we now have a reality. I wanted to hug every black person I saw yesterday and today, and I did so with my big smile and a “thumbs up” at bus stops, in the doctor’s office, at the grocery store, and at the beach.
As a gay man, though, who was married by a neighboring country in 2003 before my own country would recognize my relationship with my male soul mate of 32 years, I’m very sad, angry at, and embarrassed by those heterosexual people who with fear-clenched hearts rejected equal relational status for me and Ray in California, Florida, and Arizona. We gay men and women in
America don’t yet have a reality, we have only a dream.
Knowing that the black voters in California overwhelmingly (69% to 31%) rejected the equal status of gay couples, I smiled and gave a big “thumbs up” to those I saw today and yesterday with mixed feelings. I was thrilled for them but resentful too that so many in their community have learned nothing about the personal toll of discrimination. You expect more from fellow travelers. The other group that breaks my heart is those who go to church every Sunday. In California, they voted 83% to 17% against Ray and me having basic legal rights as a married couple. Their sense of morality is very foreign to my understanding of the Sermon on the Mount which I learned by going to church every Sunday in my youth and young adulthood.
But though my euphoria at Barack Obama’s election is less unadulterated than it would otherwise be, I also know that social change takes time. Gay men and women are making enormous progress. It was only 34 years ago that an elderly usher at the Catholic cathedral in Detroit, when told by a police officer that those picketing on my behalf had a legal right to do so, said with genuine shock and I’d guess no conscious malice to the officer, “Really? I didn’t know that cocksuckers had legal rights.”
Since then, homosexual sexual expression has been legalized throughout the United States, twenty states prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in employment and housing, gay people can legally marry in Massachusetts and Connecticut, and in Canada, Spain, and the Netherlands, and have their civil unions recognized in twice as many places in the world, most major global corporations actively recruit gay employees and recognize their relationships with domestic partner benefits, an openly gay, non-incumbent man was just elected to Congress for the first time in American history, an openly gay priest has been consecrated as a bishop in the Episcopal Church, and presidential candidates from both parties openly seek the support of gay community. Barack Obama and the heavily Democratic Congress will end discrimination against gay men and women in the military, they will pass a bill to stop the bullying of gay high school students, and they will prohibit workplace discrimination in all fifty states within the next couple of years. The religious conservatives who are gloating today because of their victories against gay marriage in California, Arizona, and in Florida will soon feel as defeated as I feel today. The long-since deceased Catholic usher in Detroit would be quite amazed, I think, at how far his “cocksuckers” have come..
He would also have been shocked had he stood in line with me and listened to the 20- year-old Iranian-born American college student talk about how all of her friends were going to vote against the anti-gay marriage amendment in Florida. First time voters in California came out 64% to 36% against the ban. White and Hispanic voters came out 55% to 45% against it. Before too long, our dream of equality will be a reality.
I suspect that the horribly-expensive battles waged by the Mormon Church, the Catholic Church, and all other conservative religious groups in California, Arizona, and Florida this year created far more allies than they did opponents. They paid out the nose (as did we) for a very thorough public education on gay love that forced everyone in every family to talk about the issue and to take a stand. Those who voted against gay marriage will have to live with the same shame with which white people who oppressed blacks must live. Homophobia is no nobler than racism.
The sway that conservative black ministers have on their congregations will wane with intelligent leadership by our new black president, and the hold that fundamentalist Christians have had on the Republican Party will also wither in light of the party’s extraordinary drumming at the polls. That is good news for the nation and for me as a gay man. I’ve seen great change in the United States in the past 60 years on all social issues. I wish we hadn’t lost our amendment battles for the right to marry in California, Florida, and Arizona, but I’m quite certain that we will see full recognition of gay marriage in the next twenty years, hopefully within Ray’s and my lifetime.
Happy days are indeed here again, and they will get happier. It just takes time and patience. Right now, I choose to really celebrate the significant victory we all have achieved in the election of Barack Obama as our Commander in Chief. And I can’t wait to see him, his wife, and his children physically enter the White House. It’s a great day in America.
Love,
Brian
www.brian-mcnaught.com
