Thanks for the Chance to Give
At the conclusion of our Thanksgiving dinner, Milton and his boyfriend Matthew will take a plate of food to a homeless man who sits all day, every day, on the bench outside of a neighborhood Starbucks. I’ll cut up the turkey into bite-size pieces. The rest of the meal will easily be eaten with a plastic fork. The homeless man won’t say “thank you.” He never does. He won’t even make eye contact with Milton, though our friend buys him coffee periodically throughout the year, and he receives his annual Thanksgiving and Christmas meals from us dependably. I don’t need a “thank you,” nor does Milton. The reward is in the giving.
In Washington D.C. this Thanksgiving, hungry, homeless people, like our neighbor on the bench, are being threatened that if the City Council passes a law that recognizes Milton and Matthew’s love, the Catholic Church will quit feeding them. In this instance, the reward is not in the giving. The giving has a price tag. Cross the Catholic Church and they’ll quit feeding and sheltering the homeless or, as happened in Boston, quit finding homes for orphans, which the Church did when the state dared to allow gay people to adopt children. WWJD? What would Jesus do, indeed?
Thanksgiving is Ray’s and my favorite holiday for several reasons. For one, our hearts and souls hunger for opportunities to say “thank you” to acknowledge the extraordinarily good lives we have. We’re also exceedingly nurtured by the presence of dear friends sharing a special meal. We love the idea of people across the country finding their own unique culinary way to acknowledge their blessings. In addition, I love to cook, Ray loves to bake, and the annual turkey dinner with pumpkin-pecan pie is a delight to prepare and enjoy. There is very little stress associated with Thanksgiving. The frantic pace of Christmas is absent. And Thanksgiving is when we traditionally light the outdoor holiday decorations. Christmas lights bring out the child in us.
I also feel that Thanksgiving is the beginning of the season in which people become their better selves. That doesn’t happen on Memorial Day, the Fourth of July, Labor Day, or Halloween. All of those days seem to provide many people green lights to be wild and crazy, drinking far more than is good for them or for the people who have to deal with them. But Thanksgiving conjures images of family in all of its forms, thoughts of God or our Higher Powers, and of the reasons we have to be happy rather than the ones we have to sad or angry.
Thanksgiving is when we are most aware of the disparity in riches of others in our families, circle of friends, neighbors, and colleagues. It is at this time that we think about bringing sweets to share at work, of donating money to food drives, and of calling or e-mailing people we imagine might be alone. It’s when we start thinking about what special, thoughtful gifts we’ll buy for the people we love, what colorful paper we’ll purchase to wrap them, what beautiful cards we’ll select to send affectionate messages to those in our lives we might only connect with once a year. Our higher selves are our giving selves, and our giving selves find our reward in the joy and comfort we bring to others.
That’s why we think to create a plate for the homeless person sitting alone on the bench outside of Starbucks. We don’t think of him on the Fourth of July or on Halloween. But we know that Thanksgiving means more to him than does Memorial or Labor Day. He too perhaps has childhood memories of the smell of turkey and pumpkin pie in the oven. This is the time of year that we remember our connection with him and with all other human beings.
Ray and I send best wishes for a Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who reads this, even to those of you who live in countries in which this holiday is not celebrated. You’re in our hearts too. We promise not to withhold loving comfort from you just because your lives are somewhat different from our own. That’s not what Jesus or Milton would do.
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Given the holidays and some dental surgery that I’m having in the next couple of weeks, I’m giving myself a short break from writing. I may get one more blog in before Christmas, or I may just spend my time watching holiday films that make me cry as I wrap presents and write cards.